32 weeks

Well actually a little over 32 weeks. And wow time is going slow. And I am getting fat.
I gained 10 pounds in 4 weeks. Unbelievable. Although when you take into account the fact that walking is still an absolute ordeal in the boot I guess it's understandable. No exercise + eating = fat.
Luckily the little boy doesn't seem to be getting too fat so Doc isn't worried. He really is the best doctor - he says 'Emma don't think of it as fat, think of it as breast feeding preparation'. Bless.

I also suspect a good portion of the weight gain has been in retained fluid. My feet are like 'bear paws' according to DH, and the ankles and hands are heading in the same direction.

Without further ado, my update:

How Far Along? 32 weeks + 2 days.

Maternity Clothes? Absolutely. I have been going to a mother's group at Destination M.aternity lately and buying up singlets and some stretchy skirts to keep me going. I also had a blocked milk duct (self diagnosed of course) and decided to stop wearing the tight underwire bras. I have 3 Elle Mac.Pherson ones now and they are lovely - they are nursing bras so I'm hoping they go the distance as they weren't cheap.


Stretch Marks? Sadly yes. My belly got very itchy about 2 weeks ago, and overnight they appeared. At first I was pretty upset about it. They seem to be getting only slightly worse and I'm getting used to the idea. As long as my boy is growing I can live with the fact that a side effect is bloody stretch marks :(

Sleep? Worse by the day. I really don't enjoy being on my side anymore, although I try and force it because my ass gets sore and numb. For some reason being on my side can cause heart palpitations and nausea, and I'm convinced the baby doesn't enjoy it. He does weird movements when I'm on my side. So I get about an hour on the side and most sleep is now in a semi-seated position with a mountain of pillow. Poor DH. I am definitely starting to get more tired, although I then try and stay up late so I am assured sleep.

Best Moment of the Week? It's been a busy one. I love going to my Expectant Mom's group every Wednesday. I'm having my hair done today, and the baby shower is on Saturday. What a week - I can't pick one moment.

Movement? Yep. Baby boy is much more responsive to things now. I can poke him and he pokes me back. He likes the sound of the shower a lot! He's still head down, so a lot of movement is feet and knees in the ribs :)

Food Cravings? Still eating a lot of fruit, and have a bit of a food routine at the moment. It seems to keep me 'regular' so I'm sticking to it.

Gender? BOY :)

What I miss? Walking with ease. Still.

What I'm looking forward to? Unpacking all the lovely things we've bought for the nursery. Crib and drawers arrive tomorrow.

Weekly Wisdom: Just because your mother didn't get stretch marks, doesn't mean you will follow suit :(

Milestones: Starting childbirth classes. I was so proud of DH. 

All the things I worry about.

28 weeks today. I can't even believe I'm typing that. Time seems to be flying by.
I think I have definitely grown in the last 2 weeks, and I'm feeling heavier by the day. DH arrived home from Sweden and agreed that my belly is much bigger than when I left. As a result, things are getting much more difficult - particularly with this godforsaken boot on.

Perhaps this is a stupid thing to say, but I worry a LOT that I am squashing him in there. I worry about it at night when I lie on my side. I worry about it when I twist around to get something in the shower. I worry about it when I have to lean over to pick something up. (Which happens ALL the time because I seem to drop everything.) I'm seeing the OB today and will ask him about it. I'm sure he'll laugh at me.

I've also started having dreams. Bad ones about the baby coming early. I don't know why I keep thinking about that, but it seems to be in my mind in the daytime and the nighttime. Last night I felt very crampy and was convinced that I was having BH with each cramp. When I mentioned it to DH, he got a panicked look on his face, so I had a shower and went to bed. Nothing since, so I think it was all ok. The baby had been very active in the afternoon, and sometimes that causes me to be a bit achy.

And last but not least, I'm worried about having everything ready. I feel so frustrated that I can't get out and start looking at all the things I need. DH keeps saying 'we have heaps of time'. But I really don't feel prepared. I have read a lot of websites, books and magazines and I know what we need. But I feel like my hands are tied and I can't get out of the apartment to actually pick it out. And I'm worried that DH and I are not going to agree on things.

Ok - enough of that. Here's my update:

How Far Along? 28 weeks.

Maternity Clothes? Um yes. Exclusively. (Although I do have a pretty dress from B.rooklyn Industries which is perfect for a pregnant belly.) Because of the boot, I am permanently in a dress or skirt and top. Leggings are not too easy to wear, and besides, it's so freaking hot there's nothing else I'd rather wear than loose flowing dresses. The new bras I bought in Stockholm are starting to feel tight. They are size 34E. Dear god.

Stretch Marks? Miraculously no.

Sleep? Getting seriously worse every week. With DH back (which I am SO happy about), we are back in bed together. His snoring seems to have abated which is great, but now I'm the one that wakes us up in the night. I can only lie on my left side for about 2 hours before my hip starts to kill me. Because my left leg is currently taking most of my weight, my leg hurts a lot. I am considering some sort of massage therapy to help relieve the pain.  So usually I end up propped up on about 5 pillows and sleeping on my back. Of course I'm worried I shouldn't be doing this - but there's not much choice! Oh yeah, and I have to get up 2 or 3 times per night to pee. Awesome.

Best Moment of the Week? DH coming home. The last few days were hard, and I was starting to feel like I hadn't seen him in SO long. It was the longest we'd ever been apart - 2.5 weeks. I think both of us had a niggle in our minds that if the baby came early for some reason, he wouldn't be there. But he's back, and I couldn't be happier.

Movement? Yes. All the time. I had some sort of gastro bug last week, and the baby was so active all throughout it. Perhaps my guts were particularly loud that day or something! It wasn't pleasant, and of course it was just another thing to worry about, but it passed in 24 hours. He seems to be having cycles of being awake at night (and keeping me up) and then quiet in the day, and then awake all day and sleeping at night. The thing I love the most is how he wakes up moments after me as my heart rate goes up and I move around. So sweet.

Food Cravings? No real cravings, just eating a lot. Given that I'm not burning much energy being stuck at home, that's probably not a good thing!

Gender? BOY :)

What I miss? Walking with ease.

What I'm looking forward to? Finally getting things for the nursery. I am adamant that we are going to get started this weekend.

Weekly Wisdom: Don't eat too much all at once. Especially at night. At 28 weeks, my tummy is very squished, and I can hear digestive sounds from some weird parts of my tummy. Like, way off to the side! Is that where my intestines are now?

Milestones: Third trimester is underway. In about 12 weeks we will have our little boy. I can't wait.

Sitting around waiting to get fat

Today I am 26 weeks pregnant. Today I am also wearing a moon boot, for at least another 6 weeks.
After a shocking setback last week with my foot (re-ruptured my achilles tendon), I flew back to NYC urgently to see an Orthopedic Surgeon. Apparently the tendon has been ruptured all along, only I was misdiagnosed. Great.

So here I am in the middle of NYC summer, without my husband (who has to stay on in Stockholm until the contract is up), in a moon boot and fairly immobile. I think I am piling on the weight, which I guess is to be expected when all I do is eat, sleep and sit on my ass.

In good news, I saw my OB yesterday and got to see my little boy for a moment on the u/s. He is head down! I just think that must be so uncomfortable for him...but I guess not.  I am growing perfectly, and baby looked good. I really hate all the pitying stares I get when I'm out. People even say things as they walk past me like 'oh you poor lady'. I know it must be a tragic sight, but still, I want to be one of the hot pregnant ladies I see in the waiting room of my OB. Not the one everyone feels sorry for.

Sleeping has been ok since being back in NYC. I have my S.noogle back! Woohoo. But I think the peeing in the night is increasing, which is a challenge when I have to hobble there each time!

Anyway - enough complaining. I have a healthy little baby growing inside me who needs me to be happy and positive. We listened to music LOUD this morning and it was great.

Feeling huge

Well I'm nearly at 25 weeks, and still in Sweden. Some sort of internal instinct is begging me to start preparing a nursery, read parenting and breastfeeding books and cook and clean. But most of those things will have to wait another 5 weeks until we are back home in NYC. (The cooking part is my daily ritual here in Stockholm - the food is amazing and I can't stop eating!)

As I write, my tummy is jumping up and down as my little boy wriggles and kicks. It's very comforting, because he's had a few quiet days. That's not to say I haven't felt him, but he seems to be kicking less and a bit gentler these last few days. My lovely Swedish midwife (Birgitte) says it's completely normal, his heart rate is great (154), and he needs to rest after particularly active days/nights. Ok whatever, I still prefer it when he's moving!

She also told me I am low in iron, so I'm taking supplements now, which are hideous. My tummy feels weird all the time now. And (TMI alert), it made my poop BLACK!!! I just about had a heart attack.

Anyway, I am really loving this time in Stockholm. I get all day to just be pregnant and happy, and eat well, and think about my little boy growing inside me. It's bliss.

How Far Along? 24 weeks, 5 days.

Maternity Clothes? Yep. Visited H & M in Stockholm and bought some great singlets and a dress from their 'Mama' range. I'm not sure if it's in the US, but I am planning on going back next week to get more of the great singlets. Also, today I wore my J.Brand maternity 'jeggings' and felt like a proper trendy pregnant lady! They were totally worth the $185 I spent on them. Although, now I'm home, I'm back in loose clothes.

Stretch Marks? Had a scare last week in the morning. I thought I saw the sign of the first one on my belly and was SO disappointed. It turned out to be a crease from sleeping. Thank god!

Sleep? Still not great. The online S.noogle turned into a disaster with the silly woman at the online store in the US insisting I change my mailing address with the bank in NYC before she would send it to me. And this was when the money was already OUT of my account. I'm going to be back in NYC in 5 weeks, so why on earth would I do that?  So I ordered a Swedish version instead. Nowhere near as good, but helping somewhat. DH still snoring, so most nights are apart, but we did manage 3 nights in a row together this week.  I seem to have also got my afternoon tiredness back from the 1st trimester. I could seriously nap every day.

Best Moment of the Week? Passing my glucose test. I took it in Stockholm with my temporary midwife. I was a bit worried because I have had some light headed moments which I was attributing to blood sugar. But now I think it's all iron related, which I mentioned above. The midwife's office is so nice - I had a lovely bed to lie on while I waited for the blood test. I read my mags and napped. That could NEVER have happened at NY Downtown Hospital :)

Movement? Yes still all the time, but with less force this week. On Friday night however he had a real burst of energy, and it was the weirdest feeling ever. It was like he was rubbing his hand on the inside of me. Strange but nice.

Food Cravings? Goats cheese! I cannot stop eating it. In fact just writing it has made me want to get up and eat some on crackers now. It's pasteurized so I can eat it, and it is SO good.

Gender? BOY :)

What I miss? Not too much, mainly just particular foods. Seafood, ham, cold meat. But it's a small price to pay.

What I'm looking forward to? Sounds ridiculous, but being back home so I can start the nursery. The more I feel my baby move, the more real it is that he will be here in 3 months. And I want him to come home to a lovely environment. Also, more baby clothes shopping at the cool Swedish stores. I love them!

Weekly Wisdom: Hmmm. I don't feel I've done enough to gain much wisdom this week. However, I do read a lot of blogs by pregnant ladies (and is it just me, or are a LOT of previously IF bloggers getting pregnant lately?), and read about their fears and worries. Now, I was never considered IF, really just impatient and worried. But the fears they have in the 1st trimester seem to be the same as a lot of pregnant women. Particularly me! If I could go back and talk to my 7 weeks pregnant self - I would say 'RELAX'. It's amazing how tough these little babies are.

Milestones: Passing my glucose test. Being mobile again in our rental car and cruising around Stockholm with my now (obviously pregnant) huge belly.

23 weeks

How Far Along? 23 weeks

Maternity Clothes? Almost everything maternity now. I'm living in my leggings, and I also bought a cute little denim skirt with the secret fit belly from Pea in the Pod. My main issue is bras. I seriously cannot find one that fits. I mean I was always large in the chest, but I can't be the only one looking for size E right?

Stretch Marks? Not yet - fingers crossed.

Sleep? Pretty bad really. I am in Stockholm for 6 weeks, and sleeping in an unknown bed. DH is a terrible snorer, so I end up moving to the spare bed most nights. It's a single. And I'm incredibly uncomfortable. I ordered another S.noogle online yesterday to come to Sweden as I had to leave mine in NYC!

Best Moment of the Week? Walking without my crutches. A very long story, but I was hit by a metal door on the Staten Island F.erry 2 weeks ago and damaged/cut my foot badly. Ambulance/hospital etc, very traumatic as DH was already here in Sweden.  But on Saturday I was liberated from the crutches, and can now gingerly walk around. Baby boy was totally fine (although in my initial shock of the accident I was terrified he wasn't), and is dancing around all the time (right now in fact!).  Also, DH got to feel him kick for the first time 2 nights ago. It was pretty special.

Movement? All the time. Sometimes with such force that it is SO weird. But I love feeling him in there - even when it's the middle of the night and he's awake. I could lie there all night and feel him.

Food Cravings? Still sweet things. I try to ease the craving with fruit, but I still always want something sweet (ice-cream, chocolate) every day.

Gender? BOY :)

What I miss? Bizarrely (because I'm not a big drinker) I kind of wanted a glass of wine last week. Maybe because my BFF was in NYC with me and when I finally ventured out to the a restaurant with her on crutches, I could have killed for a champagne. Also - my S.noogle pillow. Please let the new one arrive quickly!

What I'm looking forward to? Being completely mobile again and looking at some cute baby shops in Stockholm.

Weekly Wisdom: With all the pain I was in with my foot, most of my pregnancy related pains seemed to disappear temporarily. Now that I'm off the crutches, they're back! Amazing how mind over matter can rid your body of pain in certain places :) Also, the whole accident really makes me laugh at some of the ladies on the forums I read who complain about things like 'my baby shower is next week and nothing has been bought from my registry'. Try not being able to walk to put things in perspective!

Milestones: Walking again.

Ok that's all for now - I know I'm a slack blogger, but I have another blog for my friends and family (non baby related) and being on the other side of the world from home can make them very demanding for emails and information. I need to get off the laptop sometimes!

Just because I like filling in forms...

 Ok, so I am the first to admit that I don't know much about the conventions of blogging, and a lot of the jargon and standard practices are lost on me. But I do know that I like filling out forms and doing questionnaires, and so I'm going to start doing this one:

How Far Along: 18 weeks, 2 days.

How Big is the Baby?: Well I don't know exactly because the doctor doesn't seem too worried about the length of the baby any more, but What to Expect tells me it's as big as a mango - about 15cm from head to rump. (I love that word 'rump').

Total Weight Gain: I really don't like to think about this, but actually the weight gain hasn't been too bad. The problem was BEFORE I was pregnant :) I lost about 7 pounds in the first trimester, and have gained them all back now + 1. So I'm 1 pound heavier than when I first found out, which is 167 pounds. And my DH loves to check the BMI chart in the doctors office and tell me that I'm in the 'moderately overweight' area. Great.

Maternity Clothes: Last week I caved. I schlepped out to Target and Motherhood and bought some new clothes. The best buy? Motherhood's 'secret fit' leggings. They come right up under my boobs (which DH thought was hilarious), but are SO comfy. My old leggings crush my uterus area and I was scared I was squashing the little one. Next weeks mission: to find a swimsuit for Mexico.

Stretch Marks: Nope.

Sleep: Completely dysfunctional. Either DH or I ends up on the couch every night. I cannot sleep for longer than about 3 hours straight, although the constant peeing has abated for the time being. It's just that I wake up as if it's morning, even if it's only 4am. And I have to then drink some milk (for the burning tummy) and read my book. And DH has a serious snoring issue which only makes my wakefulness worse. This is one thing that is really bothering me and I hope our holiday can remedy it in some way.

Movement: Sometimes. Yesterday I could feel the baby ALL day. Just fluttering and tiny prods. But this morning - nothing. I can't wait until I can feel her/him all the time, and especially until DH can.

Food Cravings: Sweet things mainly. I have never had a terrible sweet tooth, but at the moment I find myself throwing twizzlers and maltesers into the shopping trolley without a second thought.  I am trying to be good though and moderate how many lollies I have per day. Apart from those small lapses, I am eating pretty well. I eat tonnes of fruit every day and am still drinking gallons of V8 and milk. I also cook dinner 6 nights out of 7, so we're all eating pretty well. Cannot even contemplate fish or chicken still...so weird.

What I Miss: My friends and family. Being pregnant on the other side of the world from all the females in my life is horrible. I love being pregnant, and there is no food/activity that I miss at all. It's just people.

What I’m Looking Forward To: So much stuff. Anatomy scan (and hopefully gender) next Wednesday is the first thing. So excited. 3 days later we fly to Mexico for a week in the sun, just me and DH. Then the day we get back my best friend from NZ arrives for 2 weeks. She is about to start her 2nd round of IVF so it's a nice break for her. And she's never been to NYC! Then when she leaves I will join DH in Stockholm for 6 weeks while he fills in for a colleague in the Sweden branch. It's all go!

Milestones: Looking pregnant. Ok this happened about 2 weeks ago, but there is no mistaking it now. And I marvel over my big belly.

Other stuff: I have started researching nursery things. I think DH and I have different views on how much we will be spending :) It's so much fun looking at all the things, and thinking 'oh my god will I really have a baby to put in here?' 

The home doppler is still my favourite thing, and I find it so reassuring. And last but not least, I have discovered that excess mucus production (in the nose and throat) is a common symptom of pregnancy. It is disgusting.

That's all for now, except for one note:

 - I was watching the movie 'Lantana' last night on H.BO, and there is a scene where the detectives pull up at an apartment block, park and go in. Well lo and behold it was our old apartment in Balmain, Sydney. I could not believe it, and then they even went up to the same floor our apartment was on, and filmed in one of the apartments. For some reason this made me extremely emotional. I felt so wistful for life in sunny Sydney.  When DH got home and I told him, he seemed so indifferent while I nearly cried while cooking dinner. Oh, the life of a pregnant woman :)

PS. sorry for the annoying line breaks - I can't fix it for some reason.

Small pleasures

In 2 days I'll be 18 weeks pregnant, and my tummy is huge. People on the subway and even my manicurist commented that I looked big. Do they think this is appropriate? Do they think I don't know how massive my tummy looks? While I secretly marvel at it when I'm alone, and certainly don't attempt to cover it up with baggy clothes, I don't need their opinions on how big  I should be at 18 weeks.
My skin also is a mess still. I thought I would try an acne treatment that was suitable for pregnant women, and of course instead of now having pimples, my skin is dry and flaking off. It looks worse than it did before! I can't win...

So my small pleasure is that I ordered a home doppler. And I love it. Although I'm not sure the baby does! It is SO reassuring to hear its little heartbeat whenever I want to. But last night, DH and I had a listen, and the baby really seemed to move around in there and then KICKED right on the doppler!  It was almost as if it was saying 'please leave me alone, I don't like the sound of that'. So of course I felt guilty and said something like 'great, I'm already a bad mother'. But still, it's so nice to hear the little one in there, and I think it gives DH a kick too because he can hear the baby, (and not just me complaining!)

We are booked in for our anatomy scan in about 10 days and I can't wait! We will be finding out whether we have a little girl or boy. And then we are off to Mexico for our 'babymoon'. I truly do not care whether it's a boy or girl. I read all these forums about 'gender disappointment' and am truly disgusted.

I asked the doctor how he knew if I had incompetent cervix or not, because I was nervous about it.  He said I had none of the risk factors for it, but that he could check me if  I wanted. I chose to trust him and not get checked. I hope I made the right choice.

That's all for now. I finally bought some maternity clothes last week, and I feel so much better now I'm not trying to stuff myself into pre-pregnancy clothes!